Blind Date Kingdom Heart Edition Returns
by Mari Kazara
Summary: Mari returns to her old job of working for Scrooge at Date' R Us. Come and get a date for yourself...if you dare.
1. Intro

**Blind Date Kingdom Heart Edition Returns**

Ever want to date a Kingdom Hearts Character?

Now is your chance. Here is how it works. Leave a review with your "name", character you

want to date, and where you want to go. (Don't give your real name,heartless

might be looking for you.)

Example: My name is Mari, I want a date with Axel and I want to go out to dinner)

I will take this information and turn it into a fun story about your date."This will be your first time meeting this

character so you will be unfamiliar with the character usual behavior.

"Keep it clean, nothing over the top. This is a first date after all.

No dating OC's, it has to be characters from Kingdom Hearts.

I must stress that these are not "The Love Fantasies of Kingdom Hearts

Fans". They are short, humourous stories written for laughs.


	2. Mari's Return

**Blind Date Kingdom Heart Edition Returns**

The soft whisper of snow fell on a lifeless night, as lone train passenger sat quietly, her head pressed against the window. The panes of glass were glazed over with frost,until you no longer outside.

The passenger,a young woman with short brown hair, placed her hand on the frosted glass. She did not wipe away the moisture on the surface,instead she left only her handprint on the glass , as if it was some sort of cryptic symbol, only she understood.

She gave a sigh and placed he cheek against the window.A small stream flowed past her cheek catching the light for but a minute,before settling into the scarf around her neck.

"So help me Cinderella,if you throw anymore glitter at me, I'll smash one of those glass slippers in your face!" yelled Mari.

" Mari," said Cinderella fairy godmother," stop picking on Cinderella. You're the one who insisted on taking the first available gummy shuttle to Hallow Bastion . I can't help it that this is the Party with Princesses Hour."

"You could have told me before I got on the train," scowled Mari." That's what I get for trusting a woman whose real name is unknown to the public."

" What's going on here?" asked Snow White, as she entered the room surrounded by a cloud of glitter and forest animals.

"Stay away from me," screamed Mari, shielding herself from the princesses.

"What is the problem?" asked the fairy godmother," a little glitter never hurt anyone."

"That's what the media wants you to believe, but I know the truth," said Mari." Glitter is like the plague, spreading through an unsuspecting public and is known to create a host in preteen girls and stripers.

Soon it will change all of us; making everyday life seem inadequate and we'll long for every day to be a party. This will cause depression among the victims until they can't function in everyday life."

"That's you theory?" asked Cinderella

"Yes, you can read all about it at #glitterkills."

"You didn't say anything about glitter killing people," said Snow White.

" Well, #glittermightbehareful didn't have the punch I was going for."

"Thank you for your enlightening theory, Mari," said Fairy Godmother," and I would love to hear more, but isn't this your stop?"

Mari had been so busy enlightening these airheads, that she hadn't even noticed the shuttled had come to a stop. She hurried and grabbed her purse and rushed through the open doors, with seconds to spare, before the door closed behind her.

As she stood outside the shuttle station, a flood of memories rushed back to her mind. The white snow on the gray stone walls, the sound of construction off in the distance, and how everyone gathered at Yuffie's restaurant or Aerith's cafe for cocoa on a cold day.

Suddenly, the sight of fire flashed through her memory and she quickly shook her head to dismiss this thought.

No, she couldn't think about that now or all the courage would leave her and she'd turn and run back where she had come from. No, she couldn't do that because there was no place for her to return to.

She had no choice but to come back here for there was no place else in this cold world where she could escape to; no haven from her fate. She must go forward because it was the only direction left for her.

Mari slowly walked up the street until she came to a bright pink building. It was decorated with hearts and cupids with multicolored hair. Painted along the side of the building were unicorns, pegasuses, and centaurs, traipsing through a Grecian countryside.

" Still as tacky as I remembered," said Mari, with a sigh, as she pushed through the doors with "Date's R Us" painted on the glass.

She walked through door into the dimly lit room. A sole figure sat silently before a flickering computer screen. He heard her footsteps as she entered the room, but did not turn around.

"I knew you'd be back," he said." No matter how hard they try to escape this place, they always return, eventually. You can't run away from it... because it's get under your skin, into you blood, and pumped straight into your heart. You can't run from it because you can't escape yourself.

"What are you talking about?"

"Money, of course," said Scrooge," and everyone knows that I have tons of money .You are most likely broke and evicted from your apartment."

"I didn't get evicted," said Mari." My apartment burned down."

"Before or after they threw you out?" asked Scrooge.

"Does it really matter," she said." The main thing is that I am totally desperate, so I came to get my old job back."

"And what makes you think that I will hire you back," was Scrooge's snide remark.

"Because I am one of the few people who would work for you without reporting you to the better business bureau."

"You're hired," he said." You'll start work tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? But I haven't even found a place to live."

"You can stay in this office's back room, rent free ,until you find your own place to live."

"Rent free," said Mari, with an amazed look in her eyes." That is almost decent of you. Are you sure you're feeling alright?

"I'll just deduct the cost from your paycheck," said Scrooge.

"I think there is something you're not understanding about the concept of free."

"Take it or leave it," he said." It's better than sleeping out in the snow, isn't it?"

Mari paused and look out the window at the snow piling up around the building. " I guess I'll take the room, though I have a feeling I'm going to regret it."

"It's settled then," said Scrooge, taking her suitcase." It will be nice to have you where I can keep an eye... I mean, it will be good to have company."

"Thanks, I guess," said Mari.

Mari followed Scrooge to a small room in the back of the office. He usually kept this room for himself, so that he could have a place to stay if work piled up and he was unable to make it home. He didn't mind giving up the convince, if a profit could be made and with work piling up, he could not risk Mari changing her mind.

Mari's journey into her new living quarters proved to be a dismal one. She didn't expect much from the room, considering who had offered it to her, but this room looked like it was about to be condemned by the board of health. The walls were a faded orange and cracked in several places .The only light came from a necked light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

The room had a bed that looked like Scrooge had rescued it from abandonment on the side of the road. If it had a comforter, you couldn't tell because there was a large pile of dirty clothes and discarded paper thrown in the middle of the bed.

The only other furniture was an old plastic table with a lamp that had a hole burnt into the shade and a towel on the floor in place of a rug. The windows were curtainless, but because the glass was so smudged, no one could see in only ornament on the wall was a picture of Scrooge sitting on a pile of money.

"This is room you want me to stay in?" Mari said, her voice full of disgust." What is the rent for this place? A nickel?"

"I know it's not a palace, " said Scrooge. " But with a little work..."

"... And a bulldozer..."

" ...some sweeping and dusting..."

" ...a lit match..."

"... It will be the perfect, little place for a young, single woman like yourself."

" I hate you."

"You won't find any other place to stay at this late hour," said Scrooge," not in your current financial state."

"Fine," said Mari, dropping her bags on the floor." But get me some more blankets and turn up the heat in here before I freeze to death."

"You're making a lot of demands from someone who's giving you a place to live," said Scrooge.

"You're not fooling me, duck," she said."Y ou never gave anyone anything in your entire life."

" True and we wouldn't want to break with tradition, would we?"

"Give me a bat and I'll show you."

"Boy, you are grouchy, aren't you? I think you should get some sleep."

"That's the first good idea you've had tonight."

Mari threw her body down on the top of bed, not even bothering to remove the pile of clothes on top. They couldn't be any dirtier then the bed itself and it might give her some sort of support when the mattress sunk down in the middle.

She was so tired that sleep was already beginning to ebb away at her consciousness. She decided to just take a little nap before Scrooge came back with the blankets.

She was almost asleep, when suddenly the bed began to move. A loud groaning noise came from somewhere under the pile and Mari felt something reach out to grab her.

"Scrooge!" she screamed. " There's a monster in here! I think it's a giant bed bug and it's attacking me!"

"What in the world is going on here?," said Scrooge, rushing into the room." Mari, are you alright?

"There... bed..." said Mari, shivering so hard she couldn't form all the words.

The large form began to rise up from the bed, shedding paper and a clothes, like many colored skins, until it final form emerged.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh," screamed Mari. " Kill it somebody, before it kills us.

"Hey, it just me, stop screaming or you'll wake the entire neighborhood."

"Who are you?" asked Scrooge.

" It's me, Lea or Axel if you prefer."

"Kill it! Killed it!" shouted Mari.

" Axel, what are you doing here, anyway?" asked Scrooge.

" I got locked out of my apartment and I couldn't find my key," he said." I knew you had a spare room, so I thought I would just crash here for the night."

"How did you get in this room?" asked Scrooge.

"The window was unlocked," said Axel.

"You left the window unlock at night!" screech Mari." I could have been murdered in my sleep!

"Oops," said Scrooge.

"Is that all you have to you have to say,"she yelled

"Don't worry about it Mari, I'll protect you," said Axel, putting his arm around her. "Now that I've calmed your worries, lets get back to where we were a few minutes ago, before Scrooge interrupted us."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, backing away from him.

"You were crawling into bed with me and I..."

" I had no idea you were in there," said Mari.

"Sure you didn't," said Axel, with a smirk on his face.

"Now cut it out, you two. It's silly to be fighting this late at night," said Scrooge.

"You don't want to mess with me anyway," said Axel," considering that I am one of the newest keyblade master."

"You're kidding?" asked Mari.

"Take a look at this!"

Axel took out a large blade from the pile of clothes behind him. It was red with flames dancing around it,making it forming an abstract key. Axel took the keyblade and began to swing it around the room, in a wild dance, lunging what ever happened to be in his way.

He knocked down the lamp with his first swing and wasn't satisfied to stop until he had knocked down both the table and Scrooge's picture.

"There, what do you think of that?" asked Axel.

" I think you look ridiculous. Let me see that thing," she said, grabbing the keyblade from his hand.

" Hey, don't grab my keyblade," said Axel. Then he paused and said " Oh, that sound so naughty. On second thought, maybe you should grab...

"Ah-ha," shouted Mari, interrupting him." This keyblade is made from cardboard and duct tape."

" I'm just using it for practice," said Axel." I just haven't got the hang on my real keyblade yet. Oh, that sounds kind of naughty too. Are you getting excited Mari?"

"How would you like me to disembowel you with your own keyblade!"

"You can't disembowel anyone with a cardboard blade," said Axel

"I can always try," said Mari.

"Well, it looks like you two are getting along," said Scrooge. " I'll just be going, now."

"Goodnight,' said Axel.

"Scrooge," shouted Mari,' don't you even dare to suggest that I share a room with this maniac."

"Well, I guess I put him up in the one of the spare room at the mansion," said Scrooge.

" Put him up at your mansion," yelled Mari," what about me!

"You're welcome to join me," said Axel," I don't mind."

"Scrooge, you either give me that spare room or I blab about the time you matched Maleficent up with Hades and they burned down a town together."

" The spare room is yours, free of charge," said Scrooge.

"By free of charge you mean you'll take it out of my pay," said Mari.

"Exactly."

 _I have decided to try and write fanfiction again. The rules of this fanfiction are simple. Just give me the name you would like to use for your date and who you would like to go out with and leave the rest to me. You can read examples of date at my original Blind Date Kingdom Hearts Edition fanfiction._

 _Thanks for reading!_


	3. Len vs Vanitas

**Len vs. Vanitas**

Mari felt herself emerging from the world of dreams into the first signs of consciousness. She fought it as hard as she could because she have a lovely dream of lying on a warm, sunny beach, far away from snow and cold.

If she stayed very still, maybe she could still drift back to sleep. She snuggled deeper into the comforter and was just about to return to sleep, when she heard the sound of frantic whispering coming from somewhere in the room.

" Why does she have so much stuff just to wash her hair and face with?" she heard a young voice whisper.

"Look at all this makeup. Does she really need so many nail polish colors?" asked another voice.

"Girls sure wear some funny stuff, don't they ," said a third voice.

Mari's curiosity was stronger than her desire to sleep, so she slowly opened her eyes and looked around the room. Through bleary eyes she saw Huey, Dewey and Louie were cheerfully rummaging through her luggage, without even the merest sign of restraint.

Louie was a holding up a lacey pink object and gazing at it curiously." What do you think this is?"

"That happens to be my underwear!" said Mari, snatching it away from him.

"That's underwear?" asked Huey.

"Oh right," said Mari, slowly," Disney duck's don't wear any pants."

"Just because we don't wear underwear doesn't mean we don't know what they are," said Dewy." It's just that they're so small."

"Yeah, are those things even comfortable?" asked Huey.

"Not at first, ," said Mari, shrugging her shoulders,"but you get used to it."

"Why even wear something uncomfortable?" asked Dewey.

"You wear them because don't want to show your panty line through your jeans," she said.

"So you want guys to think your not wearing underwear?" asked Louie.

"Well, um..."

"Or do you want them to stare at you butt until they can figure out if your wearing any?"asked Dewey.

"Well um..."

"Mari," shouted Scrooge, as he burst through the door," what are you do in bed?"

"Apparently, I'm having a epiphany on the true meaning of women fashion," said Mari.

"There's no time for that," shouted Scrooge." We are late for work."

"But the office doesn't open until ten,"said Mari.

"I go to work early and you're coming with me."

"Why? I can just meet you there later."

"Do you think I'm going to leave you alone in my mansion where I store all my money?"

" You're trust in me warms me deep, in the cockles of my heart," said Mari, dryly.

"Don't feel bad, Mari," said Dewy, with a sigh,"he does the same thing to us."

It was finally ten in the morning and Mari sat at the front desk of Date's "R" Us with her sixth cup of coffee. As she raised the cup to her lips, she suddenly let out a great yawn.

" Oh great,"sighed Mari," at this rate I'll end up drowning in my coffee."

There came a buzz from the door the notified everyone that another victim... I mean costumer, had walked into their clutches... I mean office.

"Hello and welcome to Dates "R" Us," said Mari, in a monotone voice. " Can I help you on the road to true love and romance?"

"Hi," said a young woman walking to up to Mari desk." I'm just here to check this place out. I walk past this place all the time on my way to work and I've always wondered what kind of business it is."

"We're a dating service, lass," said Scrooge, joining into the conversation." I'm sure we can find you the perfect date, satisfaction guaranteed."

"Yes," said Mari," whom ever you date, we'll be satisfied with."

"Mari is just kidding you," said Scrooge, giving Mari a dirty look. " I'm sure we can find the perfect date for you."

" I am currently single ," she said." I guess I could give it a try."

" Here is the form that you'll need to fill out...Miss?"

"Len," she replied.

"After you send back your form, you will have the information and the name of you date in just a few short days," said Scrooge.

"Really, " said Len,"so fast?"

"It's easy when your dating computer consists of picking names out of a hat," said Mari.

"There she goes kidding you again," said Scrooge, kicking Mari under the desk." Of course we only use the latest technology here at the office. We have matched up thousand of happy couples."

I guess I'll give it a try then," said Len, taking the form. " Thanks again."

As soon as Len had left the office,Scrooge turned to Mari and said, " How many times have I told you that the truth and business don't mix."

"Neither do lawsuits and business," replied Mari.

" They'll never be able to prove it." '

"I starting to think Xehanort may not be the most evil villain in Kingdom Hearts."

Len Zenith didn't fill out the Date's R' Us form until she got home that night. She was expecting the form to ask questions about her hobbies and what she foundd attractive in the opposite they asked her things like her health care provider and next of kin. She had serious doubts about filling out the form, when she remembered that this was a humorous fanfiction and not a horror,so she should be safe... she hoped.

She sent in the form the next morning and a day later Scrooge sent her a paper with the name of her date and where they would be going, but strangely no other information. The photo wasn't very informative either, as the person in the picture looked to be wearing some kind of biker helmet and his face was completely hidden.

Len's doubts about this blind date were beginning to return, but she guess it was too late now to back out now; especially considering the date was set for tomorrow. Well, what's the worst that could happen?

The next day she arrived in front of Date's "R" Us to meet her blind date. Blind was right, she had no idea who this guy was, where he came from, or what he looked like. All she knew was that his name was Vanitas; an unusual name which came from the Latin noun meaning "emptiness".

She was not given the chance to ponder this thought because suddenly something flew past her in a flash of light. She didn't see that it was a glider, until it finally crashed into some trashcans outside of Aerith's Cafe.

She and rushed over to crashed site, fighting through a small crowd which had gathered around to see what was happening.

The rider of flying vehicle, who seemed to be unharmed, crawled out from behind the trashcans. Len got a slight chill down her spine, as she realized that the driver was also the same guy from the picture Scrooge had sent her.

"Um...are you alright?" Len asked him." That was quite a crash you just had."

Vanitas didn't answer her or even look at her direction. Instead he took out a blade and began to furiously attack the trashcans until they blew up in a poof of smoke,leaving nothing but a pile of ash.

"My trashcans," said Aerith, running out of her cafe. "You blew up my trash cans."

"Your foul trap failed to ensnare me, witch," said Vanities." Consider this a warning to those who wish to best me. Next time all shall pay for this treachery, not just a few casualties."

"You ran into her trash can, I saw you," said Len.

"A witness, huh," said Vanitas, pointing his blade at her." Your voice must be stilled forever and you must disappear Miss...?

"Len," she said, backing away from him slowly.

"Len?" he repeated." Are you the girl I was suppose to go on a date with ?

"Um...yes...I think," she said.

"Then I suppose I must wait to eliminate you until after our date," he said, putting away his sword. "My name is Vanitas and I will be your escort for this evening.

"Are you kidding?" she said," just a second ago you were going to rub me out."

"That true," he said." But first I must honor my part of the bargain with Scrooge."

"What are you talking about?' asked Len.

"I have this deal with Scrooge that if I do these blind dates from time to time, he contributes funds to my evil plan to rule all worlds."

"Wait!" said Len." That's not how Date's R' Us is suppose to work. Scrooge told me that..."

"I have no time for you long winded explanations," he said." Get on my glider and we'll head to the destination indicated on this map."

"I've change my mind,"said Len. "There is no way I'm getting on that thing with you."

"Your resistance is futile, wench. My commands are always to be obeyed."

Vanitas grabbed Len and threw her on the back of the the glider and took off with a sudden jolt. Len never stopped screaming.

"Will you stop screaming," shouted Vanitas." We're here already."

" Ahhhhhhh...we're already at Disney Town?" said Len.

"Yes, and now that you've stop screaming, I'm going to," said Vanitas, falling to his knees.

"What's with you?" asked Len.

"This place, it's... hideous,"he said.

"I think it's kind of cute," said Len.

"It's these bright colors, soft edges, and the continually peppy music. I feel my senses revolting against such an unfathomable sight."

"I guess the music is kind of annoying."

"This will be my demise," said Vanitas, falling on the ground."I have found my , that it should end this way."

"Daddy," said a little girl, holding a red balloon,"what is that boy doing?"

"He must be part of one of those high school independent drama groups," said the man beside her.

"You mean like one mom took us to in Twilight Town," said the older girl beside the man ," The one where we watched a computer giving birth."

"Yeah,"scowled the man." I'll never forgive you mother for dragging me to that."

"Vanitas, get off the ground,"said Len pulling on his arm," you're embarrassing me."

" I can't move," said Vanitas." The sun, it burns my flesh."

" No wonder you're hot," said Len." Anyone would be in the outfit you're don't you take it off?"

"You wish me to disrobe in a public place?" he gasped. " Are you a vixen sent to seduce me away from mission and into your own political organization?"

"I meant that you should change in one of the bathrooms, not here outside," she shouted.

" I didn't bring a change of clothes."

"They sell clothes here that you can wear."

"Those clownish outfits," he said," I'd rather die."

"Then stop complaining about the heat and take me on my date or Scrooge won't contribute to your weird political party."

"I thought you didn't want to go on a date with me," said Vanitas.

"Yeah, that was when I was still afraid of you. But after what I just saw, that feeling has past."

"No, you must fear me," said Vanitas, "everyone must fear me. I will show you my strength by conquering this world before you do."

" You mean you're going beat me at the Disney Town games ?"she asked.

"Then I shall regain my honor on the field of battle and there is no way I would lose to a woman. This way to the racing cars of death!"

"This is going to be interesting," said Len.

Later that evening, Vanitas and Len were having coffee in Clarabelle Cow Cafe. Len sat smugly sipping her coffee, while Vanitas sat grumbling over his muffin.

" How does it fell to lose twenty-seven games to a woman," said Len.

"I didn't lose," he growled."You cheated!"

"I did not cheat!"she said.

"You kept taking the shortcuts at Rumble Racing !"

"That's how you supposed to play the game!"she said.

"I've never played such idiotic games,"he said." I mean who is the moron who thought it would be fun to have ice cream thrown at you, while having vomit indulging music blaring in your ears."

"I think it's called a beat game."

"Then if having ice cream thrown at me wasn't bad enough, you insisted on me playing volleyball with a bunch of freaking, giant fruit."

"I offered to play on your team but you insisted on playing by yourself," said Len, as she calmly took another sip of her coffee.

"And then, the ultimate humiliation," he said. " I lost to a pair of rodents."

"I told you not to play against Chip and Dale," she said.

" Oh, the pain and despair," he said, falling on the floor. " That someone as vile and hated as I ,should fall victim to all this cuteness. Oh, the shame! How can I ever face Master Xehanort after this.

" Look daddy," said the little girl with red balloon, as she came into the cafe. " It's that boy. They must be having another show."

"And they wonder why people are trying to take the arts out of school," said the man.

 _Hope you enjoyed your date, Len . I hope more people will come and try our dating service._


	4. Travis vs Namine

**Travis vs. Namine**

Mari looked around despairingly at the place that Scrooge had ordained as her workspace. Her "desk" was an old particle board table that looked like he had found it in the same corner of the road he found the bed in his spare room. Her only office supplied consisted of a pad of paper, several unsharpened pencils, a rusty hand pencil sharpener, and one manila folder.

"Scrooge!" Mari shouted at the elderly duck.

"What is it Mari?" he asked." Can't you see that I am busy."

"You can count your money later," said Mari,"We need to talk."

"Don't tell me you're going to start complaining again," he said, with a sigh.

"I asked you for office supplies and this is the best you can do?"

"You asked for office supplies, I gave you office supplies. Now, what's the problem?"

"Nothing if I was running an office in the 1950s," yelled Mari. "I don't even have an electric pencil sharpener. Where are my computer and my printer?

"Are you saying that we should have more than one computer in the office?"

"You do know that sixteen years ago a thing called the new millennium took place don't you? No one runs a successful office with these meager supplies!" she said. "You're a millionaire and I am sure you can get me better office supplies then this."

"We'll talk about this later," said Scrooge." There is a customer coming to the door."

"You just stalling the inevitable, duck," said Mari.

A tall, dark figure walked silently through the doors of Date's "R" Us. He was dressed in the traditional long black cloaks of Organization XIII. The only exception in his appearance was a strange purplish pink pattern embroidered on the cloth, that swirled around edges of the sleeves and bottom of the cloak.

His features were completely hidden behind the large hood that he had pulled loosely around his head. All that could be see was two glowing circles glimmering from somewhere within the hood

"You!," said Scrooge, his voice trembling slightly at the sight of the cloaked figure." Are you the famed Anti Black Coat Nightmare."

" Reveal thy face," said Mari.

"As you wish," came a soft whisper. He placed his gloved fingertip to the edge of the hood pulling it back, exposing the face hidden in the shadows.

"I don't believe it," said Scrooge. " Anti Black Coat Nightmare is actually..."

"Wait a second," said Mari. " Who the heck are you?"

"I'm Travis," he said.

"You're not a Kingdom Hearts character," said Scrooge. "What are you doing dressed like that?"

"This?" said Travis, pointing to his outfit." I bought this and these glowing red sunglasses at the Disney Store down the street."

" I should have known," said Mari. "Disney will market anything if they can make a buck."

"I know," said Scrooge, with a dreamy expression," if only I could own more than a quarter share in the company."

"You're part owner of the Disney company?" asked Mari. "I bet you are behind all those re-releasing of games and stalling the release of Kingdom Hearts 3."

"We can talk about that later," said Scrooge. " We have a customer here who need our assistance."

"I actually here because I got this with my Disney Store purchase," said Travis, handing Mari a pink and red card with Scrooge's face on it.

"What is this?" said Mari, taking the card from him.

"Oh that's my new deal I have with the Disney Store," said Scrooge. "It's called a love card."

"They told me that since it was my birthday, I got a free date service from Date's "R" Us with my purchase," he said.

"You're giving out free dates through the Disney Store," said Mari," What are you trying to do bankrupt the Disney Company."

"Mari has such a particular kind of humor," said Scrooge." You'll soon have to learn to ignore her the way I do."

"Um, okay, I'm just here for the free date," said Travis.

"First you need to fill out this form," said Scrooge."Don't forget to sign the bottom before turning it in."

"Can I fill this out here," asked Travis.

"Sure," said Mari," you can use what is laughably known as my desk. We'll just be in the back room having a 'meeting'."

"If I not back in half an hour call the police," said Scrooge, as Mari dragged him into the back room.

Travis was sure that Scrooge was just joking when he said that. The way Mari and Scrooge always kidded each other made him think this was probably a really fun place to work.

He sat down at Mari's desk and began to fill out the dating form. At first, the questions were simple things like his name and age, but farther down they became weirder and weirder. One of the questions asked him his blood type and another asked him if he was an organ donor. Why on earth would there be such ridiculous question on a date form?

It must be a joke, he reasoned, after all, Scrooge and Mari were always teasing each other, so these questions were obviously just to mimic the comedic atmosphere of the place.

"Yes, that must be it," he thought, as he filled out the rest of the form.

He got to the bottom of the page he noticed that it was written in very small print. He squinted his eyes and drew the paper up close to his face. He could make out a few word like

" unforeseen death" and "beneficiary". Before he could make out any other word there came a crash from the back room and Scrooge came running out the door.

"Alright, I'll get you a computer and a printer," said Scrooge.

"That's better," said Mari, flicking some white dust off of her jacket.

"Um, I'm done filling out the form," said Travis." All but the signing it at the bottom, I couldn't read the tiny lettering."

"Oh that's some legal jargon," said Scrooge. "Don't bother reading it and sign at the bottom."

"Since it's just a dating form, I guess it's okay," said Travis.

"Why do I feel that I am witnessing a scene from Faust," said Mari.

"And thank you very much," said Scrooge, snatching the paper away as soon as he signed." I'll call you tomorrow with all the date information."

"Great," said Travis," and thanks again."

"Poor kid," said Mari.

"Poor nothing," said Scrooge," he is getting the date for free."

" Yeah, but somehow it's like winning a free trip to jail."

Travis receive a text from Date's "R" Us two days later. From it, he learned that his date was a girl named Namine, that she loved art, and that she was around his age.

He slid his finger across the text until he came to her picture. She was short, with shoulder length blond hair and big, blue doe eye framed with thick blond lashes. The picture was obviously candid, as Namine was gazing into the camera with a rather surprised expression. She seemed to be in the middle of some art project because she had a pencil stuck her ear and two blobs of red paint on her cheek and knew girls well enough to know that someone else must have sent in the picture, but he was glad they had chosen that picture. He thought it made her look cute.

Travis looked in the mirror again as he brushed through his messy, curly, black hair, trying for the third time to tame it as best he could. As he gazed at his reflection he practiced saying her name again.

"Namine," he said, the name sounding nice in his lips.

He hoped that they would get wasn't much of an artist himself but he did appreciate art and, at least, that was something they could start the conversation with.

He looked back at the date information Scrooge had sent him, which wasn't a lot. It had just said to come by the office and meet his date at seven. It didn't tell where they were going or even what they would be doing. But Travis thought better to question was free after all, and Scrooge had found him a really cute date.

What's the worse that could happen?

Travis arrived at the Date's "R" Us office promptly at seven. He thought about coming earlier but he didn't want to appear over eager.

He was glad he made that choice because there, in front of the Date's "R" Us, Namine was waiting for him. She was sitting on the bench all dressed in a cute white coat with a blue scarf that had Paopu fruit and seashells embodied on it.

She had taken off her blue gloves and was busy sketching a snowman that Aerith had placed in front of her store. She concentrating so hard on the picture that she didn't even notice that Travis was next to her until she felt the rock of the bench as he sat down.

"I sorry if I am interrupting you," he said.

"Oh, I was just sketching," said Namine, putting her sketch pad away. " I just love sketching winter scenes. Where I live we never get snow."

"Do you really carry that big, sketch pad with everywhere you go," said Travis," I thought you would have a tablet or something."

"No, " she said wrinkling her nose," I hate using that stuff. I only like things like color pencil and paint. I know it's not popular and old fashion but I feel like computers lack feeling and warmth."

"I totally agree," said Travis, willing to say anything to see her cute smile.

"Oh, I almost forgot," said Namine," Scrooge told me that we would get information for our date from Leon at Ansem's study.

"Is our date here at Hallow Bastion," said Travis. " No wonder it was free. I was kind of hoping we could go somewhere warm, like the beach."

"I don't mind," said Namine," almost anywhere can feed my artistic soul."

"Yeah," said Travis, forgetting the entire conversation in favor of admiring Namine lovely blue eyes.

They hurried to Ansem's study where Scrooge was waiting for them with Mari and Leon. Mari was pouting and grumbling about overtime while Scrooge and Leon were busy with the computer.

"We are here Scrooge," said Namine," and all ready for the date you promised."

" You seem excited," said Mari," I didn't even think you'd be interested."

"I wasn't at first," she said," but when Scrooge told me about the lush scenery, the bicycle rides through the park and the sailboat across quite lakes. It will totally feed my artistic soul to be around all the lights, colors, and nature.

"Hold that thought for a minute," said Mari," Scrooge, come over here."

"What? I'm busy," he shouted back.

"Get your white duck butt over here right now," said Mari.

"How dare you address me in that vulgar manner," said Scrooge.

Mari grabbed Scrooges' arm and turned him away from Travis and Namine.

"Why do you lie to them about the date," Mari whispered," you know that Namine is paranoid about being stuck it a computer and never getting out. I had to spend the night at her house after watching Tron Legacy and she wouldn't go near a computer store for almost a year after that."

"Well, then it is good that I can help her overcome her fears," said Scrooge. "Leon, hit the switch."

" Are you sure?" he said, his hand paused over the keyboard.

"Never mind, I'll do it myself," said Scrooge," Say hello to Tron for me."

"Mari, what did he just say?" said Namine, looking at her with eyes of panic.

But unfortunately, Mari wasn't able to answer as they dispersed in and 80s version laser show and a distant scream.

"Scrooge, you are going to have to pay for her therapy," said Mari.

" It wouldn't be a first time, lass," said Scrooge.

"Welcome to Space Paranoid," said a man who greeted them at the Pit Cell " My name is Tron."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," screamed Namine.

"You must be the two users that Scrooge told me about."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," screamed Namine.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh," screamed Namine.

"Breath, Namine," said Travis. "You're going to pass out!"

"I want to go home," screamed Namine.

"Alright, we'll leave," said Travis," I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

" I'm sorry but I am programmed to keep you here until your date was completed," said Tron.

"Trapped! We're trapped," said Namine. " This wasn't what Scrooge promised me. He said we could go biking and sailing."

"You can do that here user," said Tron. " We have light cycles and a solar sailor simulation. I'm sure you will have a good time."

"And you look awfully cute in your Tron outfit," said Travis.

"I do," she said smile slightly through her tears.

"I'm sure we'll have fun here if we just give it a try," said Travis.

"Maybe your right," said Namine,"Maybe I will have fun."

"I am not having fun," said Namine as she Travis sailed into the port at Central Computer Mesa.

" Neither am I," said Travis.

"I'm enjoying it," said Tron.

"What kind of date is this anyway?" asked Travis. "Everywhere we go we are attacked by monsters."

"I've been helping you defeat them, haven't I ?" said Tron.

"That's another thing," said Travis," why do you keep following us everywhere. This is supposed to be a date, you know, just the two of us."

"I don't think it would be nice to leave Namine behind," said Tron.

"I am not taking about Namine," said Travis.

"Are we almost done here," said Namine, " This place is sucking up my artistic inspiration."

"Really," asked Tron." Are you in pain?"

"Not in physical pain," said Namine," but in mental anguish. My artistic soul needs beautiful sights and sounds of nature. There is nothing here but the crude artificial technology; so barren and lifeless.

"I'm afraid I do not understand what she is talking about," said Tron. "Perhaps that is because I program."

"No," said Travis" all guys have that problem."

"Well, I'm sure you will enjoy the next room," said Tron," We have a special birthday event for you, Travis.

" Travis, is it your birthday?" said Namine," It's too bad you have to spend it in a place so void of art and culture.

"It's not so bad, but not really an idea place for a date," he said.

Tron led them on to the Central Computer Mesa. It was very similar in color and design to all the other rooms that Tron had showed them. The only real difference was that the colors were red and gray instead of the usual black and blue, and that room had a sort of pit shape.

" I really like this room," said Namine.

"You do," said Tron. " Honestly?"

" No, I really hate it," said Namine, " but since it's the last place on the tour, I'll tolerate it."

"Intruder alert, Intruder alert," a voice came blaring into the room.

A large pillar of orange light shot up in the middle of the room and a man in a red and gray outfit came charging toward them.

"What are you doing here?" asked the man." This area is forbidden."

"That can't be, Sark, "said Tron." The program that Scrooge set up clearly states that we end the tour here."

"Oh, is this the Blind Date Birthday tour?" asked Sark.

"Yeah."

" I was informed about this, " said Sark." Let me speak this over with the Master Control."

"Is he talking to that big orange wall?" asked Travis.

"Its got a face," said Namine. " I feel like I'm looking at something from a Picasso."

Sark turned back to the party and said," We've decided to give you the birthday special."

He pulled a harmonica from somewhere on his costume and blew a note on it.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you," he sang." We eliminate all threats, so we'll de-resolute you. "

"What did he just say?" asked Travis.

"I said I'm going to eliminate you as a threat to this computer," said Sark, turning into a giant. " Prepare to be squashed you tenacious little bugs."

Before any of them had time to react Sark raised up his giant foot and was about to bring it down on Travis and Namine. But there was a flash of light and they were both transported back to Ansem's Study.

"Well, how was the date?" asked Scrooge.

"How was our date!" shouted Travis." We almost got killed in there!"

"Yeah," said Namine," and it wasn't anything like you said it was going to be, you liar."

" Come on Namine," said Travis, grabbing," we will somewhere else and have a real date."

"Can we go around the block so we won't pass the computer store?" she asked, still trembling as they left the room.

"I hope you learned your lesson, Scrooge," said Mari.

"Yes, I have," he said. "No more free dates.

 _I agree with Namine in this story. I hate doing art on the computer and prefer the old pencil and paper much better. I hope you all like this date. Special thanks to TisIJustAGuy for proofreading for me._


	5. TheGamersJoint vs Aqua

**TheGamersJoint vs. Aqua**

Cid let out a large yawn as he turned off the motor to his truck. He wiped away the moisture from his bleary eyes and stretched out his long limbs in a feline type manner. The long nights and the early mornings were taking its toll on him, but Scrooge had been pressuring him to find this special computer for Mari.

He didn't mind the late hours and early rising if the computer was for Mari; she put up a lot working for Scrooge. He had asked her why she came back to work there and she told him that she had returned out of guilt. She said that it just wasn't fair to let this business operate without having someone to help the customers who fell victim to Scrooge's schemes.

Cid believed her intentions were noble, for no amount of money could convince anyone else to come work for Scrooge. Then again, no one else had enough blackmail information to keep Scrooge in line, like she did.

Cid walked into the office's of Dates "R" Us to find Mari fast asleep at her desk. She had a cup of coffee presses against her face, her mouth open as if she had gone for a sip of coffee and passed out on the way.

Cid reached out and shook her softly," Mari?"

" No, I don't know who fed Mushu lighter fluid and made him burn down the Imperial Palace," she mumbled in her sleep.

" Mari," said Cid, shaking her harder," wake up!"

" I have no idea about the flooding in Port Royal and I'm sure Scrooge would never match up Ursala and Davey Jones," she mumbled again, before slowly opening her eyes.

"Mari, are you okay," said Cid.

"Where am I?" she asked, wiping the drool from her chin.

"You're at Dates 'R' Us," said Cid .

"Then it's not okay," she said, taking a sip from her coffee." This is cold. I must have been out longer than I thought."

"What are doing here so early," he asked," and where is Scrooge?"

"He had some mysterious errand to do and he likes to make sure I'm never left at his mansion with his love ones?"

"Huey, Dewy, and Louie?"

"You know better than that. I was talking about his money," said Mari, pouring herself another cup of coffee." What are you doing here so early?"

"I have the packages Scrooge ordered," said Cid," I'll come by later and you can tell me what you want done with it."

" Is that my computer?" asked Mari.

"Yeah, it was tough to find what Scrooge wanted but this should be what you're looking for."

"I can't believe he is going to all this trouble for me," said Mari. " I had to practically twist his arm to get him to admit we needed more than one computer in the office. Are you sure that really a computer and not a bomb?"

"I made sure to run it through security before they brought here," Cid joked.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a door buzzer and a customer coming through the door. The young man walked up to the counter were Mari and Cid we talking and shyly asked," Is this Date's 'R' Us?"

"Yes, can I help you?" said Mari.

" Someone I know had a date here..."

"If he wants to sue us, I'm warning you, Scrooge has some of the best lawyers working for him," said Mari.

"Actually, I came to get a date," he said, looking at her with a puzzled expression.

"Oh yeah, I guess there are people like you who come in from time to time," said Mari. " Who recommended this place?"

"His name is Axel and he and I take the same gummy shuttle to work. I told him I was new in town and... are you alright?"

"Don't worry," said Cid. " She always twitches like that when someone mentions him."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," said Mari, shaking her head. " If you really want to go on a date Mr...?

"TheGamersJoint," he said," but just call me TGJ."

"Yeah, well, it takes all kinds, I guess," she said, shrugging her shoulders. " Here just fill out this form and we'll get back to you in a couple days."

"Thanks," he said. " I'll work on it as soon as I get home."

"You might want to be sitting down when you read this," said Mari, " and don't forget that we don't cover medical cost."

" Um, sure," said TGJ, before turning to walk through the door.

"I thought the medical cost thing would deter him," said Mari. " But I think he thought it was a joke."

"You tried," said Cid.

TGJ receive a text from Date's "R" Us three days later while eating lunch at work. He was gazing through the content and when he got to his date's picture it almost caused him to choke on his soda in surprise. She was definitely gorgeous, but her unusual outfit and blue hair definitely gave her a unique look.

"Wow, she is incredible," he thought. "Scrooge sure know how to pick 'em."

TGJ scrolled back to the information on his date (such as it was) and found out that her name was Aqua, she was around his age, she liked training( it didn't say in what sport) and was now a master (again no information on what she had mastered.)

There wasn't much more information, just that he would meet Aqua in front of Date's "R" Us and he would find out where they would be going. It did seem a little odd that his date destination was being picked out by Scrooge, but I guess when you furnish your client with dates as cute as Aqua, one had no right to picky.

As he was looking at Aqua picture again, he received another text from Date's "R" Us.

"That's good to know," he thought." I'm glad all my blood test for tropical diseasethey took came out negative."

The next evening, TGJ went through the same routine he alway did before going on a always went through a checklist to make sure the date was a success.

First, was to make sure that the place we were eating at had nothing that he was allergic to.

One date was ruined because he was allergic to oranges, which he found out were hidden in his salad. He couldn't put his lips together for three days after that.

Next, he made sure to put some extra money in his wallet. With the prices that Scrooge charged for his dates, he was sure he wasn't going to get away from this night without having his wallet emptied.

Last, was to make sure he looked his best. He gave himself a special long look in the mirror, making sure he hadn't missed any spots shaving, hair nicely plastered down, and his breath was only took him 6 boxes of tic-tacs and he was ready. She could stick her tongue down his throat and all there would be is minty freshness.

He gave himself one last wink in the mirror, before grabbing his coat and heading out the door. He would have usually driven his car but Scrooge told him that they would take the gummy shuttle to their date location.

When he arrived at Date's "R" Us, he thought that he must be early because there was no one outside waiting. He wondered if he should just sit on the bench outside, when he noticed that all the lights were on in the office.

When he stepped inside he saw his date Aqua and Mari sitting at a table,deep in a conversation or perhaps even an argument.

"Come on ,Mari," Aqua was saying," you should totally try out to be a keyblade master. I don't want to be the only female one."

"I keep telling you that I'm not interested in pursuing such a job," said Mari. "Sure, I'd like to quit this job, it's just that I'm...

"Scared? In doubt of your skills? Worried about what people will say about you?" asked Aqua.

" ...lazy," finished Mari. " I just don't want to invest my time in anything that physically demanding."

"I'm sorry for interrupting your conversation," said TGJ, " I'm here for date Scrooge set up."

"Oh yes," said Aqua. " The boy with the weird name."

"You're one to talk, with a name like Aqua," said Mari. " You sound like you were named by a four-year-old."

"That's not my real name, it's a nickname."

"What's your real name," said TGJ." Maybe I should call you by that."

" I was named after my Aunt Helga," said Aqua.

"Helga?" said Mari. " I can see why you chose a nickname."

"The name did not befit my image as a keyblade master," said Aqua.

"Oh, so that's what you are a master of," said TGJ. " But what is a keyblade?"

" This is a keyblade," she said, holding her keyblade high above her head.

"Oh wow," said TGJ," it's beautiful and amazing,"

"TGJ, her keyblade up there," said Mari.

"Oh, um, yeah, it's really nice," said TGJ, sheepishly.

"Even though you are not a keyblade master, such as myself," said Aqua," You and I can train together."

" Train together?" said TGJ."Isn't this is supposed to be a date.?"

"That is not what Scrooge told me," said Aqua," and I'm afraid I can't take time away from my training."

"What the matter TGJ?" asked Mari." Afraid she'll mop the floor with you."

"Of course not. In this modern day, guys admit that there are girls who strength outweighs our own," said TGJ." What are you feminist or something?

"Nah," said Mari. " I'm against all stupidity, regardless of their gender."

"I only want to beat everyone to the ground, regardless of gender," said Aqua.

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better," said TGJ

"We've no time to waste on self-pity," said Aqua." We must be off to Olympus Coliseum."

" Have fun," said Mari.

"Yeah, fun," echoed TGJ.

Forty- five minutes later they came to their stop at Olympus Coliseum station, looking much more haggard than when they left.

"When they said it was Frozen hour on the train, I just though it meant the heater had gone out," said Aqua.

"I have never seen so many squealing girls all singing 'Let it go'," said TGJ, shaking the white glitter and paper snowflakes out of his hair.

"If I was a feminist, I think I would rip my eyes out after seeing all those girls in their sequin dresses and glitter makeup," laughed Aqua.

"At least, we won't be going home on the same shuttle," said TGJ.

"According to this shuttle schedule," said Aqua, "we'll be going on the Creepy 80's Disney Movies Hour."

"Nothing could be scarier than what we have already been through," said TGJ.

TGJ and Aqua left the shuttle station and walked into what look to be a scene straight from the Ancient Greece. There were large stone pillars, casting their shadows over pale gray slabs of stone laid out to make a crude stone floor.

At one of the wooden table sat a fat, middle age guy, looking at a stone tablet a muttering to himself. Whatever he was reading he must have found displeasing because he angrily slammed down the tablet on the table.

"Phil," said Aqua," I'm back and I brought back someone to train with us."

"Good timing, sweetheart," said Phil, getting out of his chair." We were running out of participants and I was afraid we were going to have to shut the place down."

"He has goat legs!" exclaimed TGJ.

"Of course, I do," said Phil," I'm a satyr."

"What is the big deal, TGJ," said Aqua," Date's 'R' Us is run by a duck."

"Oh, yeah, huh," he said. " Somehow I didn't notice."

"There's animation logic for you," said Aqua.

"We don't have time for logic," said Phil," We got to get this newbie ready to start his training. By the looks of him, he is going to need all the help he can get."

"Hey, I don't need comments about my appearance from a guy who smells like a goat," said TGJ. " Besides this, a date and we are just here to have fun."

" A date," said Phil," with a loser like you. Honey doll, you need to ditch this guy and go on a date with a real man, like me."

" Are you kidding? That's just gross," said TGJ. " Number one, you're old, number two, you're all kinds of hairy, and number three, as I mention before, you smell."

" You're just jealous," said Phil.

Before they could argue anymore, they were interrupted by a voice yelling from somewhere behind them.

"Phil, Phil, I'm here. Don't start the training time without me."

They turned to see a teenager with black, spiky hair running towards them. He was dressed in the oddest fashion, with the top part of his outfit being black armor, though TGJ couldn't tell if it was leather or metal. The second part of his outfit made him look especially ridiculous, as they looked like a pair of blue sweatpants that became tight above the knee and straight from his thigh on. On top, he wore a pair of big boots that made the made his outfit look like he got dressed in a costume store.

"I glad I made it in time," said Zack," It was Underwater Sea Princess Hour on the gummy shuttle and I almost didn't make out on time."

"What has that got to do with it?" asked Phil.

"All the little girls kept thinking I was Prince Eric and wanted to take a picture with me."

"You don't look like Prince Eric to me?" said TGJ.

"Apparently, I do to little girls," said Zack. " Either that or I was the best thing available."

"It doesn't matter since you made it in time. So let's get started.," said Aqua.

"Oh Aqua, I see you here for our date," said Zack."Then by all means, let's get started."

"Hey," said TGJ," she happens to be on a date with me."

"Is this true Aqua?" asked Zack.

"Possibly," said Aqua," Scrooge was awful vague on the details."

"I can't allow that. I challenge you to a battle for a date with Aqua.," said Zack to TGJ.

" I accept your challenge," said TGJ, "If I win, Aqua has to finish this date with me and promise to go on another with me after this."

"If I win, Aqua goes on a date with me and agrees to never to see you again," said Zack.

"If I win," said Aqua," both of you have to clean my apartment and do my laundry for a month."

"Um, that's not quite what we were going for," said Zack," but I never walk away from a challenge."

"Hey, my boy Herc will want in on this," said Phil." Hey Herc, get over her."

A tall skinny teenager with enormous ears ran over to where they were all gathered.

"Did you want me, Phil?" said the boy.

"Yeah, Herc, I want you to come here and beat these pipsqueaks in the competition and win a date with Aqua."

"But you told me I couldn't date girls until I was completely done with my training," said Hercules.

"That's okay," said Phil," I'll be happy to date Aqua for you."

"That is totally unfair," said TGJ.

"I got three words for you, kid," said Phil. "Life's unfair."

"Phil," said Hercules. " I been meaning to talk to you about the numbers and words thing you do. I mean, the first time you did it, it was only mildly funny and by now it's getting a little..."

"Old," finished Zack.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Phil. " All I know is that we're burning precious daylight, so let's get the competition started."

"Herc, you're going to compete in that outfit?" said TGJ. " You're wearing a toga and sandals."

"This is what I always wear to compete," said Hercules.

"I don't want to be around if a strong breeze comes by," said TGJ, with a shudder.

" Enough chitchat," said Phil. "First everyone must be frisked to be sure the are not carrying any additional weapons."

"I am totally okay with that if Aqua does the frisking," said TGJ.

"Yeah, I think I might have a hidden weapon in my pants," said Zack.

"Let's dispense with the frisking," said Aqua. "I can beat my opponent no matter what advantage he may possess."

"Then, let the games began," said Phil," Herc, take them to the arena."

"Come this way," said Hercules, pointing toward a large metal gate.

" But I don't have a sword," said TGJ.

"You can rent one from Phil," said Hercules. " He does require a fee."

"How much does it cost?"

"How much do you have?" replied Phil.

After negotiating for ten minutes, TGJ finally got a sword and joined the others as they walked through the metal gates and into the grand arena. There was a stadium around them and scattered all over the floor where various sizes of Grecian urns and a few barrels here and there.

"I thought we were going to fight someone," said TGJ. "This looks more like an art exhibit."

"The contest is to see who can break the most urns in a set amount of time," said Zack.

"But they look expensive," said TGJ. " Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Don't worry," said Hercules." Disney gets most of these urns from China."

"Who will be going first?" said Aqua.

"I'll go first," said Hercules, " and show TGJ how it's done."

So the competition began as Hercules smash countless vases with his sword or fists while Phil threw praise in his direction and made kisses faces at Aqua who ignored him.

The more TGJ watch the competition, the angrier he got. He thought that this whole thing was pointless and stupid. He didn't come here to do some meaningless game, he came here to have so romantic time with his hot date.

He wanted to be eating at some nice restaurant, getting to know all about Aqua, and watching her laugh at all the great jokes he had learned for the occasion.

They should be sharing a meal, flirting shamelessly and telling lies to impress each other, like all great dates should go.

Instead, he was here with three other guys all competing for her attention, getting his brand new clothes all sweaty and dirty, and having to face the possibility of never getting to see Aqua again.

By the time Hercules, Zack, and Aqua were done with their turn, TGJ was boiling over with anger. When it came time for him to compete, he turned all his adrenaline towards the urns. Before his eyes, he saw all the faces of those who had ruined this date for him.

"Take that, Zack!" he thought, smashing one of the vases with his sword," That's for crashing in on my date."

"Take that, Goatman!" he thought, smashing another." That's for getting Hercules to join in."

"Take that Scrooge!" he thought as he jumped on a barrel and rolled over a dozen of vases. " This is for taking my money and sending on this phony date."

The time buzzer suddenly sounded and TGJ was shaking from his angry thoughts, when he saw Hercules, Zack, and Aqua all running towards him.

"You won," said Aqua, giving him a hug."I admit my defeat to a true champion."

"Just listen to the crowds roar," said Hercules.

The stadium was suddenly filled with the sound of loud cheers and whistles, but something about it all didn't seem quite right.

"Um, Hercules," said TGJ. "Where are all the cheers coming from? There is nobody out there, the stadium is empty."

"Really?" said Hercules, "I never noticed."

"Maybe it's the ghosts of all the champions who have fought here before," said Zack. "Kind of inspiring isn't?"

"No, it isn't," said TGJ."It's creepy and I want to leave."

"Well, okay then if you want to," said Zack, with the shrug,"To show you that I am a good sport at losing, I'll treat everyone to Thundercracker-cotton-cloud-candy-heroic orange sundae."

" But I don't want to go out for ice cream," said TGJ. " We haven't even eaten dinner."

But Zack ignored him and took one of Aqua arms while Hercules took the other and they walked away together out the gate.

"Maybe all those warnings Mari was giving me weren't really a joke," thought TGJ, as he slowly walked through the gate after them.

 _I went to Disney World not too long ago and don't get me wrong, I love children. But after spending a week there I never want to see another glitter filled little girl dresses up like Elsa again. I even wanted to burn my Frozen soundtrack after this experience._

 _I was reading feminist meme and they had me laughing so hard that I decide to add them to this story too. I hope you all had fun._


	6. David vs Xion

David vs. Xion

It was after six 'o clock when Cid decides to walk into the offices of Dates "R" Us. He had waited until after work because he knew Scrooge would be returning from his errand and he could find out what they wanted him to do with the computer.

When he got to the door he noticed all the lights were on, which is rare considering how cheap Scrooge expected the place to be quiet and calm, as it usually was after hours, but when he stepped into the office it was utter chaos.

Mari was on the phone giving out what appeared to be emergency information while Scrooge was sweating profusely and yelling," there is no way they can sue me right, there is no way they can sue me right?"

"Scrooge, will you shut up," yelled Mari. " I am trying to talk on the phone."

"Did I come at a bad time?" asked Cid.

"Cid, what are you doing here?" asked Scrooge.

"Feeling underappreciated, mostly," joked Cid. " I came to set up Mari's computer but I see that she is sorta busy at the moment."

"Yes, she is very busy, extremely busy," said Scrooge. "Come back tomorrow and ..."

"I got off the phone with hospital and they said the TGJ was okay, but that he had some dessert with orange in it, which he is allergic to. It seems he was in some eating contest with the other boys at an ice cream parlor and forgot to ask what was in it. Do you realize this is the third time we had to talk to the hospital this week?They're beginning to get suspicious of this place," she said."Hi, Cid what are you doing here?"

"I am here to about the computer..." started Cid.

"He is here to deliver your computer, Mari," said Scrooge. "He'll set it up for you tomorrow."

"He already delivered it this morning and I am guessing he came to set it up now, am I right Cid?"

"Yeah, I got time. Just tell me what you need to be done to the computer and I'll be happy to get started."

"Will you look at the time," said Scrooge," I forgot I have some very pressing business to attend to. So if you'll excuse me."

"Don't you move a muscle, Scrooge," said Mari. " Just what is this all about? If I thought you had a soul, I would say that you are acting guilty."

"Guilty! I don't know what you talking about," said Scrooge, avoiding eye contact with them.

"The last time a saw a look like that was when my dog got into my years supply of beef jerky," said Cid.

"Wait a minute," said Mari. "This is about the computer you promised me, isn't it.? You didn't buy it did you? You just had Cid bring in empty boxes, didn't you?"

"No, Cid brought your computer, didn't you Cid?" asked Scrooge.

"Yes, I brought what Scrooge requested," said Cid. "It took me a long time to find one like this, I mean I haven't seen one like this since I was a kid."

" What!" shouted Mari.

"Look at the time, I am really late..." squeaked Scrooge.

" Yeah, this little beauty is a 1983 Apple IIe Computer with a floppy disk drive and even a cassette storage," said Cid, pointing to the boxes."This is a dot matrix printer that has the paper that all connects together. It sure makes an interesting conversation piece, doesn't it? I thought we could turn it into a fish tank or maybe a planter, what do you think?"

"Scrooge!," Mari yelled, running towards him.

"Yikes!" said Scrooge running in the in the opposite direction and out the door.

At that same time, a young man came to the door. He had to jump out of the way just in time to miss Scrooge and then had to jump back again to miss Mari rushing after him. He hesitated to try to walk through the door until he was sure no more people would come rushing out.

"Is everything okay?" asked the young man.

"Um, yes. They are just um... training for Hallow Bastion Marathon next month."

"Enthusiastic, aren't they?" said the young man.

" Yeah, you could say that," said Cid." Can I help you?"

"My name is David," said the young man," I called Scrooge and he said I could come by tonight and he would set me up with a date."

"Well, actually I don't work here so..."

Cid was interrupted by Scrooge who was making a lap back by the store and passed by the door. "The form is on the table," he yelled as he ran by.

"Oh, I guess this paper is what you fill out," said Cid, handing the stapled sheet to David.

"Wow, this is a lot of questions," said David," Is it alright if I bring this back tomorrow?"

"I'm sure that would be fine," said Cid.

"Don't forget to get the munny before he leaves," said Scrooge, running past the door again.

" I pay first?" said David.

"That's usually how Scrooge runs his business," said Cid.

"He has other businesses?" asked David, as he handed him the munny.

"I heard this one was just a tax write off," said Cid.

" Well, that's comforting," said David.

" Here's your receipt and..." suddenly Cid stop what he was saying, drop the receipt and ran towards the door.

"Mari," he shouted," watch out for the patch of ice on the sidewalk!"

But he was too late. Mari made a final sprint toward Scrooge and stepped down on a large icy puddle. Both her feet came up from under her and she was thrust into the air and projected out into the snow, landing with one leg angled under her body.

"Mari, are you alright?" asked Cid as he kneeled down beside her.

"My leg," she groaned, " I think it's broken."

"Oh no," said Scrooge," Don't tell me we have to call the hospital again this week."

It was two days later and David was at his job having lunch when he received a text from Scrooge giving him all the information on his date. There wasn't much to go on, as all there was her picture and her name. The picture showed her to be about his age( which he had to guess as her age wasn't given) and she had black hair, cut into a bob, pale skin, and a pair of brilliant blue eyes. Her name was so weird he wasn't sure how to pronounce it.

He was so busy trying to figure out what here name was, that he didn't even notice his friend Chris sitting down next to him.

"What you looking at David?" he asked.

"How would you say this name?" he asked, showing the text to his friend.

"X-i-o-n," read Chris," Exeon?"

"I thought maybe it was Keyon?" said David.

"You got a picture of her on your phone and you don't know her name," said Chris.

"I have her picture on my phone because we're going on a date tomorrow."

"You're going on a date and you don't know her name?"

"It's a sort of blind date," said David.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that flier we found at work would it," said Chris. "What was that place called, um... Dates "R' Us?"

"Yeah," said David. "I thought I give it a try."

"I don't know," said Chris," I heard that place is kinda shady."

"It wasn't shady," said David, pausing as he bit into his sandwich," but it was kinda weird."

"What do you mean weird?"

"When I got there the owner and his employee were outside training for a marathon in the snow at night."

"That sounds kind of dangerous."

"It was. One of the employee's slipped on some ice and broke her leg."

" I just don't understand some people," said Chris.

"That wasn't the only weird thing," said David." You should have seen some of the questions on the dating form I filled out."

"Like what?"

"What species are you? Do you have a heart? Are you oppose to going out with someone who has no heart?"

"That last question is no so weird," said Chris. " I've known some heartless girls in my time."

"That's true," said David." Though the whole experience was weird I did end up with a really cute date."

" Yeah, with a girl that pretty what's the worse that could happen?" said Chris.

The next evening David headed to Dates "R" Us to meet Xion though he was still unsure how to say here name.

"Maybe I can get there early and ask Scrooge how to pronounce it," said David, walking even faster towards the Dates "R" Us building.

When he got to the door he was slightly out of breath but relieved to find he was there before Xion had come. In fact, he was the only one there at all.

"Hello," he said," Is anybody here? I think that your buzzer is broken."

"I'm coming," said a female voice from the other side of the room.

"Mari is that you?" he asked.

A young woman walked into the room carrying a basket of muffins and a pot of coffee. She was tall, with long brown hair tied up in a braid with large pink bow at the base of the braid.

"You must be David," she said. " I'm Aerith. I don't really work here, I own the cafe next door. Mari is on sick leave with a broken leg and Scrooge is off somewhere running a special errand, so I'm filling in for a few days."

" Do you know if my date is here?" asked David.

"No, she called and said she would be a little late. Just make yourself at home. Here, have a muffin, they were left over from this morning," she said handing him a chocolate muffin and a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," said David." Aerith, can I ask you a question?

"You just did, but go ahead," she laughed.

"How do you pronounce my date's name?"

"Didn't Scrooge tell you?" she said. "It's pronounced SHE-ON."

"She starts her name with an X and that's how you say it," said David. "It doesn't make sense, but it not the first weird name pronunciation I've heard."

"Here comes Xion now," said Aerith." She is such a sweet girl, I'm sure you'll have lots of fun with her at Timeless River Skating Rink."

"The what?" said David, but before she could answer Xion came into the room.

"I'm here," she said, as she came into the room. "Aerith what are you doing here? Where is Scrooge?"

"We had a little accident here a few days ago and Mari broke her leg. I think Scrooge's disappearance has something to do with it."

" What about the date he arranged for me?" she asked. "I am lacking in vital information about it."

"This is your date right here," said Aerith, "His name is..."

"David," he said. " It is nice to meet you. I hope we'll have a fun date together?"

"Is having fun the reason for this mission?" she asked.

"Mission? You sound like a spy or something," he laughed.

"I am not allowed to talk about my profession with anyone outside of the organization," she said.

"You really are a spy!"

"Where will this date location be?" she asked, ignoring David.

"Scrooge has your date set up at Timeless River Roller Rink," said Aerith. " You can take the gummy shuttle and get there in fifteen minutes."

" Then I suggest we hurry," said Xion. " If that is satisfactory for you?"

"Yeah, sounds great," said David, looking a little confused as Xion dragged him through the door.

" If they rush, they should make it to the Pinocchio Hour on the gummy shuttle," said Aerith as she waved goodbye to them.

When David and Xion left the gummy shuttle, Xion was in tears and David was doing the best he could to console her. David had girls cry after dating him but this was the first time a girl had cried before the date even started.

"Come on Xion," he pleaded," please don't cry. I hate seeing anyone cry and especially girls."

"It was just so beautiful when the puppet was changed into a real boy," said Xion. "I just couldn't hold it together. I relate so much to his struggles and the desire to be real like everyone else."

" Oh I see," said David. " You feel like people only see the fake side of and you really long for them to see you as you really are, right?"

"No, I just want to stop being a puppet," said Xion.

"You mean you want the people in charge of your life to quit telling you what to do and pulling your strings," said David.

"No," said Xion," I am a puppet created by Vexen."

"Is that your dad?"

"No, no, no," said Xion getting angry. " I am a real puppet, you know like a doll."

" I know you're a deep thinking goth chick, but I'm just not comfortable with you saying that," said David. " I mean, I don't think I want to tell the guys at work that I am dating a doll, they already think I'm weird just for signing up for this Dates 'R' Us thing."

"Never mind," said Xion. "Let's just get this skating date mission over so I can return back and have ice cream with Roxas."

"Hey wait a minute!" said David. " Who is this Roxas guy, your boyfriend or something?"

"Of course not," she said. " He is just a friend."

"That's what they all say," pouted David.

David and Xion walked out of the gummy station and something weird began to happen. The world suddenly changed from color to black and white and all the edges became rounded and flat. He looked over at Xion and though her coloring hadn't changed much, her anatomy seemed much more basic.

" I feel like I'm on an acid trip," said David, his eyes wide with terror. "Just what did Aerith put in that muffin?"

"Stop being ridiculous," said Xion. "There is a simple explanation for all this."

"Such as," said David.

"We have time traveled to the past," said Xion.

"What are you talking about?" asked David. " That is a gummy shuttle we traveled in not a Delorean."

" I do not understand your worthless babble," said Xion. " But I do know for a fact that we have traveled into the past by some means unknown me."

"But how will we get back to the time we left?" asked David. "I don't want to be stuck like this."

" It seems only this world has gone into the past," said Xion, "We should return to the future as soon as we leave this world."

"Well, then I guess it okay. Really weird, but okay. Just one thing I want to get straight."

"What's that?"

"If anyone asks, I'm the Doctor and you're Rose."

"Again your words are meaningless to me," said Xion. "But I will do as you say."

David and Xion walked through the monochromatic landscape, which looked more like props in a play then real life. Though at first it was surreal, David became quickly accustomed to it. It reminded him of being in a being in a dream where no matter what bizarre things might happen everybody around you just acts like it's normal.

They reach the top of the hill and there they saw a large outdoor skating rink full of customers whizzing around at top most of the skater were animals one would usually find in a barn more than a skating rink.

Xion turned to David and said," Now let me get my mission straight in my head. You wish me to tell them you're a doctor and I'm a rose. Is that right?"

"No, Xion," said David. "Never mind all that, I was just playing with you anyway."

" I have yet to understand you," Xion said.

When they reach the ticket booth there was a black horse sitting in the booth looking rather bored and tired.

"Welcome to Timeless River Roller Rink, I'm Horace the horse, how can I help you?" asked the horse.

"We have two tickets reserved here for us, Scrooge made all the arrangements," said David.

"Oh yes," said Horace," you know that you are rather late in getting here."

"We were detained because David was playing doctor with me," said Xion.

"Oh yeah," said Horace, suddenly becoming interested.

"It's not what you think it is...never give us our tickets please," said David.

"Just behave yourself out there," said Horace, a smirk on his face.

David and Xion went to the left of the rink to get their skates from another animal, this time, a cow name Clarabelle. Xion was obviously a novice to skating because it took them over twenty minutes before she was able to get her skates on.

First she didn't know what shoe size she wore, then she didn't know where to put her foot in the skate and she was was helpless at tying her skates.

"I changed my mind," said David. " I don't think you really a spy."

" I can neither deny nor confirm that," said Xion.

" Unless this is all an act and you're just trying to make me think you're totally clueless."

She didn't even answer, but just got up on her skates and clopped over towards the rink. But instead of going to the rink, she just stomped around in her skates.

"So this is skating," said Xion." Somehow I thought there would be more to it than this."

"There is once you go out to the rink," said David. "Here let me show you."

He took her hand and led here out to the rink, where it took her no less than three seconds for her to fall flat on her butt and take David down with her.

"What happened?" asked Xion. " It was as if a force just pulled me down."

"That would be gravity," said David.

"Gravity is indeed a formidable foe," said Xion." Perhaps I should put my arm around you."

"I'm beginning to like gravity," said David, as Xion put her arm around his waist.

Hand in hand they glided around the rink and because Xion had a firm grip on his waist, she stopped worrying about falling and began to really enjoy herself.

"I like skating," she said. " I must practice this skating until I am able to do this on my own."

"Maybe your parents can take you to a local rink," said David.

"I don't have any parents," said Xion.

"Oh, sorry. Then have your adopted parents take you."

"I don't have adopted parents," said Xion. "I live with one other girl and twelve I live alone with a guy name Vexen."

" What on earth? Do you belong to some religious cult? " said David. " You can't go back to a situation like that."

"I must, for I was created for that purpose."

David stopped skating and turn Xion to face him," You mean they won't tell you who your parents are so they can slowly brainwash you into thinking the way they do."

"I keep telling you I don't have parents because I was never made me ."

"You mean that this guy is actually a mad scientist and you are an android?"

"What is an android?" she asked.

" A robot, that's full of wires and electrical currents," David explained.

"Then I am not a robot," said Xion," and I am only filled with memories."

"If you're not an android then you must be," David paused, and his eyes grew large," an alien."

"Yes, I am," said Xion," and so are you. We are foreigners in this world remember?"

"That's not what I mean," said David. " I meant that you are an extraterrestrial."

"What nonsense," said Xion.

"It's not nonsense. You kept calling our date a mission and now you take me back in time with your strange power. You tricked me here to meet up with this alien organization and take me as a political hostage so you can bargain with the people of earth."

"What?"

"But you're not going to take me alive, alien!," yelled David.

He fled from the skating rink without even bothering to take off his skates and ran clumsily toward the nearest gummy shuttle station.

"Hey, where is he going?" asked Clarabelle. "He forgot to return his skates."

"He just ran off screaming during the middle of our date," said Xion.

"I'm so sorry," said Clarabelle.

"So am I," said Xion, looking rather sad. " Now who will I get to hold me up while I skate."

 _Sometimes the whole format for these stories is rather difficult because they make much better skits than actual stories. I really did break my leg a few years ago but refused to go to the hospital until someone pointed out that the bone was sticking out in several places. I hate hospitals!_


	7. GG vs Axel

**G.G. vs. Axel**

Mari let out a sigh of utter bliss as she snuggled deep in the folds of her fuzzy, warm blanket. She had spent the last two hours sprawled out on her new leather couch, watching her favorite Netflix show on her new laptop and trying to become as much like a vegetable as she could.

She gazed around fondly at all the other new things around her. There was a new beautiful oak desk to the left of her. On it was the latest, most expensive computer, with a printer that she could find. By the computer was several of the loveliest bouquets of roses, as well as many gifts and cards.

These were not the only new things she had acquired in one short week. Her room at Scrooge's mansion had gone from the maid quarters to the best guest room in the place. In her room was a brand new four poster bed and several other new pieces of furniture, including a new TV.

She really should be at home with her injury instead of the office of Date's "R" Us. But circumstance made it necessary for her to be here. It didn't really matter because she was very comfortably suited here at the office, all she needed was her breakfast.

There came a knock on the door and Mari pause the video she was watching on her laptop and put it on the table next to her.

"Come in, Aerith," she said.

Mari, I brought you breakfast. Scrooge called me this morning and said...," she paused at the door and gazed around the room with eyes wide as cup saucers.

" What is all this?" she asked, casting her glance around the room. " Since when did this place look like a furnished apartment? Is this really Dates 'R' Us?"

" I hardly recognize it myself," said Mari." These are all gifts from that darling duck Scrooge."

"Scrooge ?" said Aerith, gazing at her in amazement. " He did all this for just because you broke your leg? I knew deep down Scrooge was a really good person."

"Oh, knock it off with the hearts and flowers, Aerith," said Mari." Scrooge 'gave' me all this because I threaten to sue him."

"You might sue Scrooge?"

"Why not? I was injured on his property, wasn't I? That ice patch shouldn't have been left there for me to fall on it, right. I think I have very good grounds for a case."

"But you know better then I do that Scrooge has some of the top lawyers in Hallow Bastion working for him. I can't even guess how many time he has to be sued by customers of Dates 'R' Us."

"Yes, that is usually true," said Mari, with a smirk on her face." But by some stroke of luck, all of his lawyers decided to go on vacation at the same time and Scrooge has been unable to get a hold of any of them."

" And Scrooge gave you all this new stuff as some sort of settlement?" asked Aerith.

" The word you're looking for is a bribe," said Mari. " But that not the only benefit I received from this whole deal. Hand me that bell on the table."

"This?" asked Aerith, handing her the small golden bell.

Mari took the handle of the bell between her thumb and her forefinger and moved her hand ever so lightly, sending out a light peal of ringing fro the bell throughout the room. In response to the sound, there was a crash in the back room of the office and Scrooge came running into the room.

Aerith could not believe her eyes when Scrooge walked into the room. He was wearing a maid costume, complete with cap and a frilly apron.

"You rang," said Scrooge.

"Scrooge what on earth are you wearing?" asked Aerith.

"I picked it out for him," said Mari. "Doesn't he look cute?"

"Mari, you're not serious about having him wear that," she said.

"I like it,"said Scrooge eagerly." I like anything that Mari likes. Whatever she says goes."

"I don't believe this," said Aerith.

"Aerith will be joining me for breakfast,"said Mari." I would like you to take the food she brought to the makeshift kitchen we set up in the backroom. Then bring her a chair, the proper table setting, and some eating utensils. When you are done you may serve us breakfast."

"Right away," said Scrooge, bowing deeply."If there is anything else you desire please inform me anytime and I will be happy to obey."

"I feel like I am in the middle of an old Twilight Zone episode," said Aerith.

"Remember that episode where the whole town was controlled by the desire of one little boy?" asked Mari.

"Yeah?"

"Muahahaha,"laughed Mari.

" Hello, is anyone there?" a voice came from the front of the office.

"Go away there is no one here," shouted Mari.

"Don't give me that," said Axel, as he entered the room." I just heard Scrooge give out his signature laugh."

"That was Mari,actually," said Aerith.

"Really," said Axel." She's been spending too much time with Scrooge."

"Won't you join us for breakfast, Axel?" asked Aerith.

"Aerith!" shouted Mari."Don't ask him to breakfast!"

"Don't worry, Mari," said Aerith."I brought plenty of food."

"That's not the problem here, Aerith,"grumbled Mari.

Aerith was one of the few girls in town who didn't mind Axel. This was chiefly because He had never sexually harassed her like he did to every other female in town. This was not an act of restraint on Axel's part but was because of a conversation with Cloud, who threaten to disembowel Axel slowly if he so much as leer in the direction of either Aerith or Tifa.

Naturally because neither Cloud nor Axel had ever told anyone about this conversation, Aerith and Tifa had never been educated on his true character the way that Mari and many of the other girls in town had.

"Wow, this place sure looks different," said Axel. "Where did all this new stuff come from?"

"Scrooge bought all these things for Mari," said Aerith, as she poured Axel some coffee.

" I see," said Axel. " You live with Scrooge don't you?

" Yes," said Mari. "So?"

Giving the boss a little extra on side sure pays off, doesn't it? Wish I was rich."

"I'm not sure I understand," said Aerith.

"But I do," yelled Mari," and if I could get up I would pour this pot of coffee right in your lap."

"Scrooge has been giving her all these things because she broke her leg in front of the office," said Aerith.

"Mari you broke your leg,?" asked Axel. " Why didn't you tell me?"

" Because I only tell people I like about my life, not people who I hate with every fiber of my being."

" But I just want to help out," said Axel, trying to look sincere. " I know it must be hard to bathe with a broken leg. How about I give you a dry bath right now?"

"Oh, Axel you're such a kidder," laughed Aerith.

"He's such a pervert," scowled Mari.

"Aerith is the only one who understands me,"' said Axel.

" If she really understood you, then Cloud would be here holding your guts in his hand," said Mari.

" I don't understand half the conversation that's going on here," said Aerith.

"Trust me it's better that way," said Mari. "Oh, and Aerith don't forget to sign my cast before you leave. I have a pen right here."

Mari handed a permanent marker to Aerith, who put down her coffee and signed the cast right away. She had such a cute signature with a flower in place of the dot in the "i".

"Now it's my turn," said Axel,grabbing the pen away from Aerith.

"No, I don't want you to sign my cast," said Mari." You'll only... Axel, my cast does not go up that high!"

"Are you sure?"

"That does it," shouted Mari. " Scrooge, get in here!"

" I'm coming, Mari," said Scrooge, as he rushed into the room. "What the matter? Is something wrong?"

"I want you to throw Axel out, right now!" shouted Mari.

"Oh, come on Mari," said Axel. " I am one of Scrooge's favorite customers. There is no way he would ask me to leave."

"Axel, let's go outside," said Scrooge.

"What? You are letting your girlfriend throw me out," said Axel. " I thought our friendship meant more then that Scrooge."

"He is not my boyfriend!" shouted Mari.

"Unless she wants me to be," said Scrooge. "Because anything she says goes."

"She said she wanted to be my girlfriend," said Axel.

"I did not," said Mari. " But I did say I want him out and I meant it or doI have to call my lawyer."

" He's going outside, he's going outside," said Scrooge. " Come on Axel, I have something I want to talk to you about."

"I guess I better be going too," said Aerith. " Just have Scrooge call me if he wants me to pick you up some lunch later."

Mari waved goodbye to Aerith and then snuggle back into the couch to finish her breakfast and start her next four hours of Netflix binge watching.

G.G. was busy having lunch when she received a text from Dates 'R' Us. She was surprised to hear from them because she had put in date request so long ago that she had forgotten all about it. In fact, she was secretly hoping that maybe they would forget all about it, as well.

Dates "R" Us had become somewhat of a legend to the citizens of Hallow Bastion. There were all sorts of rumors and mysteries surrounding the place and no one seemed to know the real story about what went on in there.

She had heard a rumor about the people who went on their blind dates had all sorts of weird things happen to them. Some of them had hallucinations about aliens and being sucked into computers. She had even heard that many of people who participated in the dates had ended up in the hospital.

She was sure that many of these were just urban legends. However, she could not deny that everyone, including herself, got an odd feeling whenever they walked past the building.

She had been foolish to accept the dare her friends had presented her with about getting a blind date from Dates "R" Us. But she had a weakness when it came to a dare and she just could never seem to resist them.

So she went up to the establishment and met the famed Scrooge McDuck who owned the dating service. He seemed like the kind old guy, not the money grubbing monster with his hand in every business in the town, like she had heard.

The only real strange thing about the place was the dating form she had to fill out. She was surprised to find that questions weren't about her hobbies or what she like to do on dates. Instead, the asked her if she had a criminal background, if she was related to anyone in the mafia, and what were her views on getting revenge on the ones who had wronged her.

After she had filled out the form, she had paid Scrooge to set up the date and promptly forgot all about it until she had received the text that morning. She glanced over the text and then slid her finger slowly down the screen until she came to the picture of her date and information about him.

His name was Axel or Lea , whichever she preferred to call him. He was about her age and he had no trouble with the law or had been ban from places by the local fire department.

She read over that line again several times and decided that it was Axel's idea of a joke and honestly it was pretty funny when she thought about it. He must have a good sense of humor which is really desirable, especially on a blind date.

She looked at his picture again and found him to be handsome. He definitely stood out with his spiked flaming red hair but G.G. did find it off-putting at all. She liked guys who tried to look different and expressed themselves through how they dressed or act.

G.G. decided she would keep the date so she texted back to Scrooge for more information on where and when the date would be taking place.

He wrote back and told her she was to meet her date in front of the office's of Dates "R" Us tomorrow evening and he would tell her all about where they would be going.

She texted him back asking why she had to wait until tomorrow to find out where they going. If he told her now she would know how to dress and what to bring along with her.

He texted back that the computers were down at the moment so they wouldn't be able to get that information until tomorrow.

G.G. shrugged her shoulders and wrote back that she would be there tomorrow at seven. She supposed they would just go somewhere casual so she would just dress like she always did when she went out on the town.

She laughed silently to herself when she thought of big fuss her friends had made about Dates "R" Us. It was just a plain, ordinary business and she was just going on a typical blind date. There was nothing strange or mysterious about that.

G.G. arrived at Dates "R" Us about ten minutes before seven. She waited for twenty minutes outside the office, but still no one arrived. Finally, she got tired of waiting out in the cold and decide to try to see if she could wait inside the office.

She tried the handle on the door and was a surprise to find it unlocked. She walked into the office and found the room was more like a furnished apartment than a workspace. There was a woman lying on the couch eating ice cream and offering advice to characters who were in a TV episode she was watching on her laptop.

" Hello," G.G. said, feeling awkward. " Do you know where Scrooge is? I was supposed to meet my date outside but it is getting kind of cold. May I stay in here until he comes?"

" Sure, come on in," said Mari, putting her laptop on the table. " I could use some company. Sit right down on that chair and we can talk. My name is Mari, by the way. I usually work here but I'm on sick leave with a broken leg."

"Thank you," said G.G., sitting beside her. " When did you break your leg?"

"Over a week ago," she said.

"And you're still on sick leave," said G.G. " Isn't that a little unusual?"

"Not when you threaten the boss with a lawsuit," said Mari.

" Is Scrooge your boss," asked G.G. " Are all the rumors about him true?"

"Of course not," said Mari.

"Really?" said G.G., looking relieved.

"They're much worse. The public doesn't know half of the despicable things that duck is involved with."

"But he seemed so nice when I met him."

" Never assume you can tell a person by how he presents himself to others," said Mari. " But you don't have to worry about him right now. He's got too many things on his mind right now to concentrate on any villainy."

"Do you know where he is right now?" asked G.G. " He was supposed to tell me where I was going on my date."

"You mean he was supposed to meet you and he forgot?" said Mari.

"Yeah."

"Scrooge gets in here!" shouted Mari.

"What is it?" said Scrooge, rushing into the room.

"Is he wearing a maid's outfit?" asked G.G.

"I was trying on Halloween costumes,' said Scrooge.

"In March?" asked G.G.

"Why didn't you meet up with her outside the office?" asked Mari.

"Is it seven already?" asked Scrooge.

"It's almost 7:30," said Mari.

"I'm so sorry G.G.," said Scrooge. "I was so busy here and I lost track of time."

"That's okay,' she said. " Is my date here?"

"No, he waiting for you..."

"Scrooge," a voice interrupted him," I am tired of waiting at the gummy station. Can I wait here?"

"Axel, I told you not to come here," said Scrooge, rushing to the door to keep him out.

"Are you Axel?" asked G.G." The guy I suppose to go on this blind date with?"

"G.G.!" said Axel, rushing towards her. " I know we are going to have an awesome date together!"

"Your date is Axel!" shouted Mari. " Scrooge are you crazy?"

"Mari are you still here?" said Axel. " I thought you would be back at your den of love with your new boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!" shouted Mari.

"Do you two know each other?" asked G.G.

"Don't get jealous or anything," said Axel. "But Mari is my ex-girlfriend!."

"What!" shouted Mari.

"Now Mari,' said Axel. " You know we agreed to see other people. Don't get upset just because I have decided to move on."

"You are insane!" shouted Mari.

"This violent temper of hers is why we broke up," said Axel. "She had me thrown out of here earlier this morning."

"Look I don't want to cause any trouble," said G.G.

"You don't want to miss out on a date with me," said Axel. " It will be one of the best nights of your life and I'm great in the sack, just ask Mari."

"The only time you'd be good in the sack is if it was filled with cement and thrown in the river," said Mari, glaring death at him.

"I did appreciate her little joke when we were dating, but she has to learn that when it's over it's over."

"It's a good thing that I am in a cast or I'd run over and strangle you right now," said Mari.

"Don't threaten my date," said Axel.

"I wasn't threatening her!"

"I heard you," said Axel. "Come on G.G. Let's leave her now to ponder her poor decision making ."

"Get out," Mari shouted, throwing a vase with half a dozen roses in his direction.

"Wow," said G.G. " She really didn't want you to go out with me."

"That should serve as a warning to you G.G.," said Axel. " Once you get a taste of me, I'm very hard to give up."

An hour later the got off from the gummy shuttle both of them looking a bit unnerved. It seemed that they had gotten on board during the Song of the South hour.

When they got off the shuttle they knew that they had ridden it the shuttle but neither of them could remember anything about it. It was as if the whole thing never happened.

"Remind me to check the gummy schedule before we ride home," said Axel. " I don't like it when things get weird at I have nothing to do with it."

"By the way," said G.G. " Where are we anyway?"

"This is Prankster Paradise," said Axel. " It has one of the largest arcades in all worlds."

"I do like arcades, but why have I never heard of this place before," said G.G.

"Neither had I to be honest with you," said Axel," but Scrooge recommended it to me. Seems he has a lot of stock in this place."

"If the rumors I hear about Scrooge are right," said G.G., " he is part owner in thousands of business in all these different worlds."

"You shouldn't believe rumors," said Axel." You should hear the rumors they say about me."

"For instance," said G.G.,looking at him suspiciously.

"Nothing in particular," said Axel, quickly changing the subject." Let's go get our tickets."

They walked down a brightly lit path until they came to a large ticket booth. There at the booth stood a rather large elderly man with white hair framing his bright red face. He was ordinary enough except for a pair of large haunting eyes.

"How may I help you?" he asked.

"Is this the arcade Prankster Paradise?" asked Axel " It looks more like a theme park than an arcade."

" This place brings pleasures of all kinds to young men everywhere," said the man.

"I think I'm going to like this place," said Axel, a huge smile on face." How much are the tickets?"

"For you nothing," said the man," only the young lady is the usual cost. "

"That is the most sexist thing I have ever heard in my life,"said G.G.

"I have no use for girls," said the man. " But the young men pay me back later."

"Sorry, but I don't go in for that kind of stuff," said Axel." Especially with an old fart like you. So you just give us two tickets and will hear no more about it."

"Very well," said the man. "Enjoy your time. Muahahahahahaha."

"What was with that laugh?" asked G.G.

"He must have been hanging around Mari," said Axel. " I hope no one else tries to pick me up on this date. I mean I'm so good looking I'm afraid you start to feel bad if everyone tried to steal me from you."

"I'll take my chances," said G.G. " Where do we go to get to the arcade?"

"Let's ask this little boy here," said Axel. " Excuse me small waif but which path do we take to go to the Prankster Paradise Arcade?"

"Get out off my way, old man," shouted the boy. " I don't want to waste any time on listening to you talk."

"What a rude kid," said G.G.

"But I know how to turn him into a sweet little boy," said Axel.

"How?"

"I'll just set him on fire and not give him any water until he apologizes."

"I hope you are kidding."

" How about if I just singe his hair a little," said Axel.

"Absolutely not," said G.G. "Tell me again what the rumors about you are."

"Hey, look there's the Arcade," said Axel, avoiding her question, "Let's hurry."

They walked up to a very large tent that was purple and blue like the rest of the park, the only difference being that it had a sign saying "Arcade" in the front of it.

Once they step foot inside the tent, the notice it seemed to be three or four times larger than it appeared outside. It was full of the loud noisy machines and even louder noisier little boys running around screaming and acting like maniacs. So pretty much it was a typical arcade, but there was two or three things that seemed a little off.

"Have you notice that none of the games have coin slots," said G.G." Does the price of the ticket cover the cost of all these games?"

"And why do they have so many Donkey Kong games?"asked Axel.

"Don't stay here any longer," said a voice. "Leave this place at once."

"Did you hear that voice," said G.G. "I wonder what game it is coming from?"

"I'm the one who spoke to you,"said the voice. "I'm down here."

They both looked down and saw a small green cricket wearing a complete outfit including a waistcoat and top hat.

"Don't go in there," he said." Leave this place before something unspeakably horrible happens."

"Oh, great. Just what we need," said Axel. "A teeny, tiny prophet of doom."

" I am not," said the cricket. " I'm Jiminy and I am just trying to help."

" I've already paid money for this and we are not going home," said Axel.

"Fine go ahead," said Jiminy. " At least, I know nothing will happen to the girl."

"You know in the real Pinocchio they killed Jiminy cricket," said Axel.

" That's just malicious political propaganda," said Jiminy, hopping away.

"That wasn't very nice," said G.G.

"Forget the bug," said Axel. "Let's go have some fun."

Axel and G.G. went back into the tent and began to play the arcade games. They were quite different from any game G.G. had played before. Many of them had to do with gambling, smoking, getting drunk, and vandalizing. G.G. found the one where the goal to put all parents in cages to be a little creepy.

Hours began to slip by and G.G. began to notice the room slowly became quieter and quieter. She looked all around the tent and saw that she and Axel were the only ones left in the room.

"Axel," shouted G.G.

"What?" said Axel, who was busy playing a game where you paint a mustache on famous works of art.

"Look around you," she said." There is no one else here!"

"And you know why there is no one else here."

"Jiminy, did you come back," said Axel. " Maybe I should squish you."

"I'll tell you why no thee's one here," said Jiminy, ignoring Axel comments. " They have all been turned into donkeys and now it's your turn."

Axel laughed at the cricket, but suddenly he stopped and his body went ridged. His face became pale, his eyes widen in some sort of unspeakable fright. He grabbed at his throat before falling to the ground and began to shake violently.

"What's happening to him?' shouted G.G.

"His changing into what all boys here change into him..."

Suddenly Axel stopped shaking and rose up before them.

"He's ... exactly the same," said G.G. " Nothing happened."

" I should have known," said Jiminy. " I guess he can't change when he's already a jackass."

 _FYI Jiminy really did die and become a ghost in the real Pinocchio. It's a messed up book._


End file.
